Reader please note, this is the unofficial obituary . . .
The Greek Middle Class (hereafter “GMC”) passed away last week, after several years of deteriorating physical and emotional condition. Cause of death is currently being investigated, but decades of spousal abuse from the Greek Public Sector (“GPS“ also known as Big Fat Greek Public Sector “BFGPS“) is believed to be contributory to GMC’s early demise, as are, unfortunately, the conditions in the Greek public hospitals, and lack of heating oil.
GPS is the successor to GMC’s few remaining assets, and has successfully fended off claims from GMC’s relatives in America, Australia, Canada, and elsewhere. GPS wrote a moving death notice but requested “that the family’s privacy be respected . . . [and] particularly that these slanderous and hurtful allegations of spousal abuse cease.”
The funeral was a somber affair, paid for from GMC’s estate. Other middle classes, particularly from Italy, Spain, Portugal, and Ireland, were too ill to attend, and GPS pointedly refused to allow the German Middle Class to attend, calling them, predictably, “Nazis.” The Greek plutocrats were well represented, with lovely bouquets in tow. Father X, formerly of Vatopedi and lately confessor to the grieving GPS, gave a moving graveside eulogy pointedly praising the spousal solidarity exhibited by GPS, and asking for forgiveness for the hapless GMC. In spite of GPS’s advanced state of mourning, GPS still managed to record the eulogy on a recently acquired I-Phone 5.
GMC was born via a difficult birth circa 1955, the birth records were destroyed in the 2007 fire that charred the Peloponnesus so exact date of birth is uncertain. GMC and GPS were third cousins, with business and political interests. GMC was a sensitive and articulate adolescent, but constantly in the shadow of the plutocrats and GPS. Some of GMC’s relatives decamped to America and Australia as a result, but after the marriage of GMC and GPS in 1981, a certain domestic harmony ensued. GPS appreciated GMC’s willingness to work and eventually GMC rose to regional manager of the other Balkan Middle Classes, in the latter 1990s. GMC also bankrolled their daughter’s education in Britain, at City College in London.
According to a copy of GMC’s diary, smuggled out of the house by a relative from Toronto, the trouble really began in the late 1990s when GPS forced GMC to agree to signing off on a false financial statement to join the Euro Club. Membership had its privileges, though, and for the next few years, the couple partied hard, not just in Mykonos with the VIPs, but all over the world. For a poor kid from the village, it was heady stuff. But keeping up with the VIPs, both local and foreign, was hard going and GPS began to skip paying bills while demanding more and more from GMC’s paycheck. Blackmail and verbal abuse became the order of the day, and GPS actively stirred both the poor and the rich against GMC, further isolating GMC. Also, relatives from America and peers in Europe were pushed away, and eventually GPS’s bad manners and temper resulted in GMC becoming friendless. GMC’s long history of enabling GPS also eroded others’ respect for GMC.
Just as GMC’s health began to deteriorate, GPS forced GMC to work harder, and constantly demanded GMC’s pay. GPS’s health insurance proved to be less than effective, because GPS had stopped paying the premiums, and GMC was not allowed to seek help from relatives or from peers. By this summer, GMC’s pallor had turned a deathly grey, even as GPS was planning yet another ponzi scheme. With the first serious cold snap, and no money for heating oil, GMC gave up the ghost. A few days before, neighbors did hear a muffled argument about yet another financial demand from GPS, but GPS insisted that the neighbors misheard.
A few days after the funeral, GPS was seen in Mykonos arm in arm with VIPs, hardly a grieving spouse. Among those in GPS’s entourage included officials in charge of the inquiry into GMC’s death. A finding is expected shortly.
We all eagerly await the findings of the inquiry.